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Okay enough with the "not for kids? really? comments" Yes you'd think with the ESRB M rating that would be obvious but people still buy these games for kids all the time. Grand Theft Auto, Saints Row, Call of Duty, Assassin's Creed, Borderlands, Mortal Kombat... all of them rated M for Mature and all of them flooded with kids that sound like 12 year olds. So yeah I feel it valid to still say not for kids.
First off this game is in absolutely ZERO ways for children... blood, gore, violence, language and nudity. Seriously the opening movie is detailed in a way I've never seen in a videogame. Main character wakes up in pool of his own blood, tries to get up and his guts spill all over the floor, not a gush of blood... his guts. Instead of finding little trinkets or packages hidden around you find pieces of nude pictures of the main character's girlfriend that get pieced together in the "collectibles" section of the menu.
I'm writing this game as a fan (not die hard) of the Splatterhouse franchise since I grew up with it. I was going to wait off until this game came down in price but I found out that it would have the original 3 splatterhouse games unlockable and that warranted a release day purchase for myself. Basically the game plays about as expected... take a classic side scroller beat 'em up and convert it into a 3rd person 3D brawler without changing the overall plot very much (guy searches haunted mansion full of beasts and other vicious looking monster type enemies to save girl). Appeal to the mature audiences by cranking up the gore and blood to cover the floor and walls (and screen), then just for good measure make the collectible items in the game torn up nude pictures of the large breasted blonde female character love interest of the game scattered about the levels.
Overall story is written by comic writer Gordon Rennie (Judge Dredd) and has a all metal soundtrack: Lamb of God, Mastadon, Five Finger Death Punch, and more.
Splatterhouse is what you'd expect... pretty much a summer horror action flick in the form of a game. It's not an artsy game in the slightest and appeals to everything that people try to deny liking. At worst it's a monument to the lack of creativity in the game market & at it's best it's a guilty pleasure for nostalgic gamers. But hey, I like it so far ;)
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I have been following this game since Bottle Rocket was still tinkering with it, and I have to say, I think the wait was worth it.Controls: 3.5/5, my two biggest problems are a problematic camera and I cannot seem to just block without rolling around. I am a twitch individual though, so the latter of these issues can probably be forgiven.
Story: 4.5/5, it's a B-movie turned into a video game. Mindless gore, violence, and nudity everywhere, and they never take themselves that seriously. It's wonderful.
Graphics: 4/5, I have seen better graphics, but they never promised to break the mold. I like the damage effects as you lose health though.
Sound: 4/5, a pleasant mix of death metal and orchestral music do a good job at setting the pace for brawling, boss battling, and platforming, as needed.
Pros
+ Hyperviolent, not enough games revel in this like they should. It's almost impossible to take seriously, except there is a lot of pretty graphic violence. I'd be impressed if you couldn't tell that from the box though.
+ Great voice acting from Jim Cummings as the Terror Mask. You may know him better ask Darkwing Duck. YES.
+ Original three Splatterhouse games can be unlocked. I think very few people will be buying this without having played the originals, so this is a huge plus for them.
Cons
Long loading times when you die.
Quick time events that restart boss battles if failed. I don't know if all bosses have this, but the first one did and it was supremely irksome.
Aforementioned control issues, but I may get better at the game.
Final thoughts
I am enjoying this game thoroughly. There is a point in the first level where you get your arm ripped off, and proceed to beat enemies to death with it. That pretty much sets the pace for the game. That being said, I will not be turning to this game for deep, introspective musings about the state of the world. Unless that state involves monsters.
Overall, 4/5.
Best Deals for Splatterhouse - Xbox 360
A title that seemed one of the big dogs at E3 when it was announced but then flew right under the market. I completely forgot about this game until I heard about it being on sale and picked it up for a modest $8. For $60 bucks, I could see myself being a little disappointed, but for $40 and below its one hell of a bargain.The storyline is involving, and really draws you in. As you learn more about the estate and the people involved, you begin to see cut scenes from your past that slowly piece together why exactly you are in the situation you are in. Lots of collectibles and unlockables, so it gives you reason to replay the campaign. In addition to these, as you slaughter countless enemies, you rack up BLOOD points which you use to learn new skills and enhance your abilities. If a portion of the story is giving you an increasingly hard time (and trust me, there are sections that are extremely difficult) you can always grind a couple levels before and rank up your skill so the harder portion is easier to beat. (Have yet to do this myself but I know the option is available.)
What shocked me most is how well the story is told. In addition to the survival horror elements the gameplay provides, the eerie atmosphere perpetuated by the environment keeps you on your toes, while the narration of the Terror Mask relaxes with you with temporary comedic relief. Its an experience in itself how the game constantly sways your mood through the proper use of comedy, horror, and drama that the story seamlessly blends.
If you are looking for a complex and intricate experience, you are looking at the wrong title. If you want a couple months of fun and some good laughs, don't hesitate to pick this up, for the price its at now, its unbeatable.
Did I mention you can also unlock the previous 3 splatterhouse games? Yeah, they're there too.
Honest reviews on Splatterhouse - Xbox 360
If you're looking to buy Splatterhouse, either for the nostalgia associated with the 16-bit originals or because you like seeing a burly dude rip zombies in half, expect a fun ride. What you should not expect is a genre-changing masterpiece of highbrow art. This game is the equivalent of watching B-grade slasher flicks while drinking cheap beer it's as fun and obnoxious as it is crude and shameless.The story has the substance of cotton candy, and that's what makes it so entertaining: you're a college dweeb (in a Mastodon shirt, heck yeah!) who dons a mask (similar to one worn by Crystal Lake's infamous one man abattoir) to both save his life and help him save his girlfriend from a Lovecraft-inspired madman and his gang of nasties. In the process, you become a lumbering beef-puppet that the mask (a sentient wise-apple voiced by the inimitable Jim Cummings) uses to enact its own revenge.
You punch, grind, slash, and disembowel (literally, ick) your way through the dusty halls of a mansion, post-apocalyptic city streets (complete with a broken Statue of Liberty, you maniacs!), twisted carnival attractions, and temple dungeons in your quest to spill as much blood as possible to not only save your best girl, but to also upgrade your skills. The more blood that gushes, the more powerful you become. And oh, how the blood gushes.
As fun as it is to forcibly rend the heads from your opponents and huck them at other opponents, it can sadly grow tedious. There is very little diversity in the monsters you fight, and palate swaps are abound. You'll also only be able to watch the same cut-scene where you tear the arms off of a zombie clown while gore covers the screen before your eyes glaze over. There are some neat features, such as your body visibly taking damage as your health wears down (you can even lose an arm and then use it as a weapon!) and your sneakers squeaking when you end a sprint.
To avoid too much of the same thing, the game has moments of 2D that make you wistful for the games of yore. On the subject of 2D games, all three of the original Splatterhouse games are available as in-game rewards. As if that isn't enough, you can unlock smutty pictures of your girlfriend by finding their pieces scattered in easyand not-so-easy-to-find areas throughout the game. Hooray for 3D-rendered boobies!
The game is really short, but in contrast has unreasonably long load times. Even installing the game doesn't cut down the loading, which in some cases was long enough for me to take a pee break and still have to wait. There's little replay value aside from finding missed collectibles and hunting achievements, and the arena-style mini-game is really only worth playing if you're a completionist.
All in all, Splatterhouse is campy fun and is more than worth worth the bargain-bin price. Ask yourself how many games let you smash a 2x4 over the head of a slimy monster oozing questionable fluids and have chainsaw duels with meat monsters. Just this one, so click the "Buy Now" button and have fun!
Find helpful customer reviews and review ratings for Splatterhouse - Xbox 360
When i heard a while back that namco had remade splatterhouse for the 360 i knew i had to have it! I was always a big fan of part 2 and especially part 3 on the genesis years ago, and i couldnt believe how low key they kept this great remake. Its bloody gory violent adult beat em up fun fest! Loved how some of the levels reverted to its 2d roots out of no where, really added nostalgia that only a older gamer who played the first versions wouldve recognized. The naked picture fragments of his girl were an awesome addition, as well as the fact that the three original titles were unlockable to play thro the story mode, that was especially awesome to me since i never owned a sega master system and never had the joy of playing the original installment of this series. I reccomend this game strongly to any fan of the original series, and to any fan of bloodsport beat em up games, its very exiting challenging and interesting. Great job Namco!
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